As I lay here in bed reflecting on months of sharing my bed, my infant daughter is snuggled beside me with one little hand on my breast. :o)
Throughout my pregnancy, I was told of the benefits to the baby of skin to skin contact in the first hours of life and all the ways it promotes bonding.
What they don't tell mothers is that bonding doesn't always happen instantaneously.
I changed her diapers, nursed her on demand, and held her every minute of the day. I loved my baby because she was mine, but now know that bonding with a child is like falling in love- it's gradual. It was the co-sleeping that strengthened my bond to her.
Night after night, when the rest of the house goes to bed, we curl together and I breathe in her slightly sweet momma's milk breath. Releasing the stresses of the day, I trace the curve of her ear with my finger and count the ways I am grateful. When I fall asleep with an arm tucked carefully around her head, I do so with the same smile I wore when I first met my husband.
Infatuation, bliss, love.
She stirs, roots around for her comfort, and sometimes without even waking, my breast finds her. More than once, I have awakened to my baby gulping a midnight snack without having helped her. When morning comes, her little eyes peek open and she giggles, just beams, at her good fortune...
Mama is right there.
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